I think the only people who should have Twitter accounts are comedians. Because it’s all about one-liners. I would love it if Conan O’Brien or Reggie Watts or Stephen Colbert were to walk into a room and tell me one joke and leave. But you don’t want Gore Vidal telling you ‘I’m doing my dishes right now’.

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Friday links are ready!

• The Darcy’s awesome/terrifying new video showing an end of the world in Toronto situation is on NME.

• Elvis Costello Speaks to His Fans - Not really a fan of his work but going against your label like that takes balls. Awesome.

• Bruce Springsteen to be keynote speaker at next year’s SXSW festival I WANT TO GO TO THERE. I know I’ve had a good year, but seeing this would make 2012 even better than 2011.

• 20 Questions Brought Up By the Grammy Nominations Predictable ‘Who is Bon Iver?’ tumblr already running strong.

• Listen: Rah Rah’s “Parkade” NGHTBLND Remix Totally agree with the write up, saw the word remix and was like “No.” but listened and enjoyed.

• Watch: Lady Gaga’s “Marry The Night” New Gaga vid, it’s 14 mins long and she directed it. What do you think? I generally can’t handle the whole attempt at being Michael Jackson she does with these “short film” videos, but I respect the effort she puts into her work.

• The Flexi: The Next Resurrected Format My boss actually gave me one of these a while back because of my interest in vinyl, I had never even heard of it before, it is super neat.

• R.I.P. Napster - Really, Napster died a looong time ago when they were first taken to court. So it’s been a long time coming.

• What Publicists Need From Musicians Great advice.

• 3 Free Guides to Promoting You Music During the Holidays

• 3 Simple Steps to Making Money From Any Passion

• The 7 Deadly Sins of Creativity

• He Who Has The Goals, Makes the Rules - So true.

• The Hard Truth About How Success Really Works Simple yet so easy to forget. Only those who work their ass off get what they want.

• Forget Fear: How To Turn Rejection Into Success I feel like this explains how 2010 was so bad for me yet 2011 has been so good.

• Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Mind. Change Your Life. Goes really well with the above article.

• The Cognitive Benefits of Chewing Gum - This has convinced me to start chewing gum again.

• 3 Tips For Writing A Killer Twitter Bio To Get Targeted Followers - If you don’t have a good twitter bio I wont follow you.

• The 10 Most Tweeted Moments of All Time - Everything important breaks on twitter, it’s true.

• Freakshow Project - art rarely surprises me anymore, but this did. Super cool.

• Why You Have To Turn Your iPhone Off During Takeoff

• After the Tory Witch Hunt Against the CBC, Who Will Be Next? - Really sick of this attack on CBC, and the general abundance of conservative stupidity happening in this country and this city.

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Hey everyone! If you’re in Toronto you know that Nuit Blanche is tomorrow night, and it’s looking to be a good one. Do I still long for the early years before the massive out of town crowds made it almost impossible to see anything without waiting for an hour in line after line, yes, yes of course! But it still makes for a great night to see friends and hopefully see some interesting, interactive and creative art for free, plus it’s always fun to see Toronto still alive and well at 5am. Yonge Street being closed to traffic and the TTC running all night because of art is always a good thing. I highly recommend you check out the exhibit/performance happening at Toronto Underground Cinema, where a bunch of great bands will take turns playing Smells Like Teen Spirit on loop for the entire 12 hours. An ode to the 20th anniversary of the most overplayed song in rock history.

•  Torontoists guide to Nuit Blanche.

• The biggest exhibit of the night will likely be FLUXe. An interactive project using the largest LED screen in Canada, where everyone can collaborate on the image by manipulating a tablet, as seen above. Do something really good and ‘like’ their facebook page. For every like the get, they are donating 1$ to a cause very important to me – Arts for Children and Youth.

• If you are hungry during Nuit, you need to check out Food Truck Eats in the Distillery District. This is usually a brunch time event so I always miss it as someone who doesn’t get up before noon on weekends, so I’m super excited that it’s open all night this time!

• This is awesome. CBC has a new documentary, Life Is A Highway, all about Canadian pop music in the 90s, it’s a must see.  Watch the first episode here.

• 10 ways for musicians to blog without being a self promotional douche

• This is funny and accurate. 19 parody logos that say the true meaning of brands.

• The art of the record review. Great look at the art that Rolling Stone has used for its album reviews over the years.

• I gave my ears to rock and roll. I feel I may be in this guys situation very soon if I don’t start wearing earplugs at shows.

• What people actually spend on entertainment and music.

• What an artist really gets paid.

• “I’m hated by many in my genre, and that makes me feel successful” “People only have the courage to do it on the internet” There is no greater way to know you’ve made it, than having haters. Polarity is the mark of success, and it’s definitely better to have some hate you than to have them be indifferent about what you do. If they hate you, it means they know what you do. They spend time out of their own lives absorbing your work, just so they can hate on it. How artists deal with all the hate.

• The history of the iPod. 

• Tips for musicians on developing an authentic Facebook voice.

• The creative brain on exercise.

• Facebook music – what it is, what it isn’t, and what it means.

• Awesome new festival dedicated to none other than the guitar.

• What your twitter bio says about you. My favorite:  “Nerd – You actually don’t know anything about the things you made fun of the ‘authentic’ nerds for liking in high school, i.e. D&D, coding, Magic, Anime, etc.” So true. I cringe every time I read a pretty blonde girls bio and it says ‘nerd’ in it.

• In defense of Stevie Nicks. I don’t think she needs defense, and I for one was never ashamed to admit she is at the top of my “I want to be her when I grow up” list with Patti Smith and Audrey Hepburn, but I still like the reasons listed for why everyone should love her.

• 30 poster design tutorials for photoshop.

That’s it for this week. See you in the streets tomorrow night for art + food + fun!

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• I found this amusing and also incredibly relevant as I get approached more and more by local indie bands who constantly make these mistakes… 5 Ways to make a blogger fall in love with you. He goes into more detail in this alarmingly titled post Why you should stalk your local blogger (and how). I think stalking is incredibly creepy, and I have decided to lay off on using foursquare because of it, but I could (and may) write a whole article elaborating on what he talks about: ” Bloggers are deeply passionate about their scene so they want to keep it free of froth (and assholes).”  My favorite local bands will always ALWAYS be the ones I discover randomly, either because of good marketing (and even better music to back it up) or because of a friend recommending them, but it doesn’t hurt to approach if you do it the right way.

• Pitchfork’s 60 favorite music books. Someone on Twitter pointed out that only three are written by women. Most of the music writers I know/follow are female, interestingly enough. We are out there. But the bias remains.

• Speaking of sexism in the entertainment world… On women in comedy. I had a slightly heated debate with some fellow females over Twitter a couple months back, over a Christopher Hitchens article about how women are not funny. As a lapsed Catholic I adore Hitchens, so I felt the need to stand up for his ideas in that article. This link basically says what I was trying to say in that debate.

•  For indie bands, the new publicity is no publicity? Interesting take. I think the Hype Machine ‘Weeknd’ model of success only makes for a one hit wonder style career, blow up fast, die faster. If your success is built on being a mystery people will stop caring as soon as they find out who you are, which is what happens once you’re booked for every major show.

• This week in awesome: Creem Magazine to return to print. If I could write for any print, it would of course be Creem.

• Good advice for musicians from someone I’m not particularly fond of.

• Music Bloggers Hack Record Industry by Launching Indie Labels.

• I read this flowery self aggrandizing article on what makes someone a true writer, and for a second I thought wow maybe I shouldn’t call myself a writer, I’ll never write a novel about a 13 yr old boy and I have little interest in excessively big words or literary devices. But then the same publication brought me this piece to take it on and speak for the writers like me.  “A writer is a blogger that lives on minimum wage (when her skill set could make her much, much more) because she wants the freedom to write all day and get paid for it.” Mind you I don’t make minimum wage, and I am currently using my skill set in a job that appreciates it, but the end goal is that freedom he mentions. I’ve always loved this Bukowski quote because it sums up my feelings on writing/writers: “An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.“

• 10 Stupid Album Release Screw Ups. If you’re in a band or work with bands, this is a must read.

• You know those daily deal websites? Here’s one just for music!

• Why do people talk at gigs? This shit drives me nuts. If you talk at a show near me, I will stare you down, and if you keep talking, I will tell you to shut up. Go to the back, or leave. If you’re not there to see the band, don’t ruin it for those who are.

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